The Long Road Home: Assembling the Story

I’m sure by now you all have read and enjoyed a copy of The Long Road Home.  I thought I’d take a bit of time and show you behind the curtain, as it were.  Even if the story itself isn’t your cup of tea, then I’ve been thinking that you might be interested to see what happens to bring a story from an idea to the page.  A glimpse of my own creative process.  It might, I thought, bring interesting comparisons to your own.

A screenshot of the comments from the Science in My Fiction blog.  The second two comments are from me, and mention an idea for a story about an alien who has three days to solve a murder before entering hibernation.

 

Well, that’s a screenshot from post on the Science in My Fiction blog encouraging people to create alien species who’s social structure doesn’t follow the same pattern as ours:

“So how might aliens differ in measures of metabolism? Well, if you look at tiny mammals like mice, they tend to maintain very high energy levels for short periods of time, and then flop down for a rest, and then go back at it. Cats also have incredibly high intensity sometimes, but sleep a lot. Some animals have stamina for hours, and some don’t. Thus, if you’re extrapolating culture for an alien based on a particular body plan, metabolism will have an enormous influence on the way they organize their daily time. Energy levels will translate into work patterns, and also into such cultural details as furniture – perhaps, whether your people keep couches handy to sleep on when they’re taking a break from work.”

You can see the elevator pitch for The Long Road Home right there in my second comment.

It’s the kind of neat-sounding idea that occurs to a lot of people. Sometimes I’ll write them down in my notebook, and sometimes they’ll grow from there. Sometimes they just drift away.

The process of nurturing and carefully guiding the growth of the neat idea is what separates a writer from someone who has neat ideas, and that separates the stories from the ideas. It’s the obvious-in-retrospect donkey work that is nothing like the beautiful plant that is eventually presented to the reader, but more like a sprawling wasteland we writers seed with as many plants as possible in the hopes of getting that one beautiful plant.

So, why did that particular idea get written down and seeded?

Probably because I’m a fan of Chandler and bad puns.

The less-glib answer is also less satisfying. Like anyone else, my conscious mind is a river: constantly flowing, constantly changing, picking things up and depositing things on the banks. For some reason, conditions were right for this idea to stick and grow.

My first notes talk about how the biological necessity of hibernation has affected the aliens’ culture:

“There’s a tradition of having a small statue watching from the hearth. Before hibernation, the statue is smashed so it can report to the gods about the family over the year.”

The idea of the hard-boiled detective is strong on the first page. While the unnamed main character reluctantly sits through the ‘proper’ ceremony with his girlfriend, he only feels satisfied after returning to his dimly-lit office, standing by himself and smashing his own statue on his table with a smouldering cigarette dangling form his lips.

On the left, a tall man wearing a fez, white shirt and cumberbund smoking a cigar.  Myself in the centre in tribly, tie and braces.  On the right, Allegra sneaks off with a Maltese Falcon-shaped bundle of newspaper.

Artimus Hyde, myself and Allegra noiring it up for Children in Need at the office. Art bleeds noir.  (Incidentally, management chose that day to tell us they were launching a consultation to shut our office and make us all redundant. They told they were going to do just that on Christmas Eve. True story.)

The interesting thing about ideas is that, when they have momentum, they generate a gravity. They suck in any stray ideas that drift along the psychological river. My next paragraph talks about how, in this alien society, their companies are like our families: they look after you, they love you, they nurture and protect you to the point where their language has no separate concept of ‘company’ and ‘family’. It’s an idea integral not only to The Long Road Home but to the Cheware, to their society and psychology. The culture and the story couldn’t work without it, but where did it come from? It’s not in that elevator pitch. It was just in my head and got… sucked in.

Something else that got sucked in was the idea of touch talk. A few years ago, I went through a course of cognitive behavioural therapy to help me deal with my depression. It was an incredibly painful experience, but also an incredibly beneficial one. It opened my eyes to the fact that our conscious thoughts are little more than flotsam and jestom floating on the ocean’s surface. What drives us, what makes us who we are is hidden away, generating those surface thoughts like the code of our computer’s operating system.

“Habitants don’t believe in absolute truth because their minds are so complex and interaction with their bodies and society so complex that they can’t know with absolute certainty the things driving their thoughts and actions”

However, their bodies betray their non-conscious thoughts through prehensile tails, ears and whiskers and, I put in my notes, scents. It seemed only reasonable that they’d see the humans as simple-minded, because we tell ourselves that we know why we’re doing and thinking things. Looking from the outside, the Cheware assume we’re all surface thought and no depth.

So, that’s where the story started. We have a hard-boiled detective, a society that sleeps through the winter and makes no distinction between your employer and your company, and a species who’s social norms are based around the idea that other people know you an awful lot better than you know yourself. And, of course, a murder. A hard-boiled detective without a murder is like a dame without a heater hidden in her dress.

After that, many hours of research and note making and following paths happened. The idea of touch-talk went from facial expressions to the conservationists physically pressing against each other so they could feel the tiny changes in each other’s pulse, small twitches of their muscles, their breathing and all those other minute non-verbal queues that give away mood and feelings. The hard-boiled detective is always on the outside, normally a veteran of World War One with borderline PTSD and alcoholism, but mine went in a different–and far more personal–direction. And there were questions that needed answering, like, ‘why are humans even on this planet? And how did they get there?’

Captain Kirk laughs glibbly at something

“We killed them and took all of their stuff!” Yeah… a bit more like, ‘To explore strange, new markets, to exploit new life and new resources, to boldly plunder where no one has plundered before!’

Some ideas were written down but left by the wayside. The idea that the Cheware display their accomplishments in their clothes or with badges like the military or cub scouts, for example, or the idea that they can enter a meditative state that allows them to slowly strip away all the conscious surface thoughts and focus on a single point, a single idea or thought, and be entirely within that moment.

Other ideas threw up interesting questions. If there is a small colony of humans on an alien planet, so far away from Earth that even getting a message back home takes decades, how are those colonists going to cope? How are they going to change, to adapt, to view the planet and culture their great-grandfathers came from but they’ve never seen?

I started writing the first draft of The Long Road Home on the 10th March 2011. I left that elevator pitch comment on the Science in My Fiction blog on the 23rd January 2011. Part-way through developing the story, I broke off and made notes for three other stories. Clearly, my mind wandered…

For me, a first draft is like selecting the piece of marble to carve. Once you have the marble in the workshop, you can start shaping it, discovering and following its natural grain, revealing the statue you initially saw in it. The Long Road Home went through four drafts–which is about average–two edits with Michele Jenson, my editor at Twenty or Less Press, and one with Michele and our copy editor. Yeah, it’s been a long road. But hell, we got somewhere pretty special.

Picture of Kirk from here. Photo taken by Cal Wimsey.

Encounters Magazine #6, Out Now and Featuring Shadows That Scratch At Frosted Glass

It’s good week for camp Foxie. Winterlands came out yesterday, and I very much hope you’re enjoying your copy.

If you want some more amazing fiction for your weekend, you can purchase Issue 6 of Encounters Magazine, which features my story, Shadows That Scratch at Frosted Glass.

Juna captains a small trawler, working the deep space dust clouds for hydrogen ions.  She has problems with the companies buying her catches squeezing her out the market, she has problems with her first mate Adele, and she has problems with her son.  But none of those problems compare to those of her sleepers, the people who lend their sleeping minds to the on-board computer so the trawler can take a short cut through dreamspace and travel thousands of light years in just a few weeks.  Something has noticed the sleepers, something greater than anything their minds can hold.

Encounters 06 Cover_web

“There’s good fishing around Seventeen,” Alex said. He leaned over the table and lined his shot up. “I heard skipper say she’s been going there for years.”

“And I’ve slept for her the whole damned time. I’ve requested dozens of transfers and I’ve been rejected dozens of times.”

Louisiana finished her drink, turned around, leaned over the counter and mixed herself another.

The eight ball cracked into the corner pocket. “I heard Seventeen was haunted,” Alex said.

“That’s what they said, before I was assigned here. I laughed. Haunted? That’s a child’s word. But Seventeen is a dark place. When I sleep there, I am not myself. I am possessed by something. I am in my body, but I do not control it. It is like being a puppet for God, and God is an old, old thing. Humanity is nothing to it.”

He glanced up at Louisiana. She watched him carefully over the rim of her glass.

“Maybe if I’d been sleeping there for four years, I’d unplug too,” he said.

A sleeper who believed in ghosts was a liability, and no one would hire a liability. It was a dangerous confession.

She traded him in kind.

“I feel it when I’m awake sometimes,” she said. “It watches me. Like a shadow on the wrong side of frosted glass.”

She watched him, worried she’d said too much. If he ruined her, it was one less person he had to compete against for work.

But then he nodded, and she saw the fear in his eyes.

He understood.

Issue  6 also features fantastic fiction from Robert Mitchell Evans, Thomas Canfield, Steven L. Peck, Wade Peterson, Jeff Barr and Harry F. Kane.  So don’t you dare say you’re not getting value for money!

Flattr Me!

Jo introduced me to Flattr. The idea is simple: each month you put an amount of money in your Flattr account. Throughout the month, you can ‘Flattr’ webpages. At the end of the month, the money in your Flattr account is divided up between all the pages that you’ve Flattred. It’s a simple way to reward sites that you feel deserve rewarding. It’s a way to support your favourite bloggers or admins. It’s an alternative to watching the Internet drown under advertising.

The only downside is that you can only Flattr sites which have signed up. I signed up because I think the idea is fantastic and want to see it spread as far as possible.

A screenshot from this blog, the 'Flattr' button circled in red, with a red arrow pointing to it.

So, if you’re wondering what this button was all about, then now you know! Sign up to Flattr, and click on it to Flattr a particular article. Or, if you have the Firefox extension installed, you can Flattr the site.

The whole concept just seemed like a worthwhile way to support sites that I value. Now they just need to sign up for it…

Free Speech Isn’t Free

Let’s start with a hypothetical question. There’s a fully-grown, fit and well adult man and his four-year-old son. For reasons that aren’t important to the question, the four-year-old clenches his fist and hits his father with all the force he can muster. Is the father than justified in screwing up his own fist, and hitting his son with all the force that he can muster?

A shot of Damien, the anti-Christ, from the 1976 horror movie The Omen.  Damien stands in a cemetary of white crosses, looking darkly at the camera.

I’m not saying that child abuse is ever, ever justified, just that once in a blue, black and purple moon the child can hit you pretty fucking hard… Ave! Ave Versus Christus! Ave Satani!

The more time I spend on the Internet, the more people I run into who hold free speech as some kind of sacred right that applies to anything that anyone wants to say. I have a lot of sympathy for this point of view: the ability to say what we want about who we want whenever we want to say it took centuries for our ancestors to win, and an awful lot of blood was spilt in the fight. It’s one of the founding principles of modern Western democracies and ensures we can freely criticize those who rule us, that we can have meaningful debates about issues that shape our society, that means we can educate our children to think for themselves. So don’t at any point in this post get me wrong: I understand the value of free speech.

However, it’s also a myth. We don’t have it in modern Western democracies. We have libel laws: if you say something which isn’t true about someone and that causes damage to their reputation, that person can take legal action against you. They’ll probably win. Should we discard libel laws in the name of free speech?

Libel laws act as a counter-balance. The weight of a national news organisation like the BBC or The Times calling a celebrity a paedophile is far, far greater than the weight of the individual denying it. That news organisation can reach millions of people and has the trust of a lot of them. The celebrity has the people they talk to every day and maybe a Twitter or blog. Sure, they have their own team of spin doctors but how are they going to get the message out? Through national and international news organisations. And sure, a rival may pick it up because it’s going to sell but then you’ve just got two huge organisations throwing allegations at each other. How are we, the uniformed public, going to pick a side? And what if the rival organisations decide there’s more profit to be had by jumping on the paedophile bandwagon? And what if the accused isn’t a celebrity with a team of spin doctors, but an unremarkable member of the public who has no team of spin doctors, no media contacts, no way of defending themselves?

Agree or disagree with them, libel laws are part of our legal system and are a limit on free speech. Already free speech isn’t a scared right but a legally limited concept. And, if you were ever the subject of unsubstantiated allegations by a major media outlet, you’d probably be very grateful for them.

Like the father and his son, multi-national media organisations have an awful lot more power than unremarkable and unknown individuals. If I screw up my tiny Internet fist and hit The Sun as hard as I can, there would be few who would argue for The Sun’s right to hit me back as hard as it could. At least… I hope there would. I mean seriously, what harm could I possible do to the biggest selling national UK newspaper that could justify it utterly destroying my life?

The power dynamics of our society means that free speech isn’t free. The Sun could exercise its right to free speech to call me a paedophile, print my name and address and place of work, follow me around with photographers and reporters 24/7… and not suffer a mote. Me? I’d pay for their right to free speech in spades. Probably with my life.

This is the part where I’m going to lose a lot of you, I think. This the part where I start talking about privilege.

See, there are groups in society that have more power than others. Educated, white, able-bodied and minded, cis-gendered, English-speaking men have more power than almost anyone else in our society. And they’re the people I always see arguing for the unrestricted right to free speech. Hm…  (Incidentally, these people also tend to be atheists.  Maybe, ‘If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist’ is something profoundly embedded in their psyches.)

I’ve seen privileged males defend homophobia, slut-shaming, rape culture, racism and pretty much every other shameful act of speech. And, like me and The Sun, they don’t suffer a mote. Free speech isn’t free, it’s just that they’re not the ones paying. So it’s free for them and, what… Fuck everyone else?

Part of the problem is that they simply don’t see–and so don’t have to acknowledge–the consequences. That’s why it’s called invisible privilege.

Part of the problem is that an off-hand comment on Facebook by an unremarkable member of the public seems, well, pretty harmless. How much damage can it do?

A line of stone steps that have deep grooves worn in them from centuries of feet

The above stones were laid between 1780 and 1789. One person walking across them isn’t going to do much damage. But, well, over two-hundred-years of people walking across them…

See, all those apparently-harmless comments which reinforce attitudes that cause real-world harm to not-as-privileged-groups like women or people of colour or homosexuals are like those footsteps on the stones. Not hugely damaging by themselves, but when they’re part of the a larger pattern of discrimination, they ensure those patterns continue and continue to do real damage to people.

The uncomfortable truth is that rights come with responsibilities. If you have the right to say what you want, you have the responsibility not to use that right to hurt people. That doesn’t sound unreasonable, does it?

First picture from the 1976 film The Omen, and used without permission.  Child abuse isn’t funny.  Second picture taken by me!  Follow the link underneath for a couple of details.

Putting Things Into Perspective

Last week, I changed my desktop wallpaper to this:

An artist's impression of the sun as seen from an undefined point in space.  On the left, there is text that reads:  "In five billion years the sun will wipe out any trace humanity ever existed.  Nothing we do, no matter how big, lasts for ever.  Every achievement is equal.  Every mistake is temporary."

The text reads: “In five billion, years the sun will wipe out any trace humanity ever existed. Nothing we do, no matter how big, lasts for ever. Every achievement is equal. Every mistake is temporary.”

The picture itself comes from here.  I used my legendary photoplasty skills to add the words.

You can argue with the wording, but it comes down to a matter of faith.  Yes, I do believe the Sun will enter a red giant stage an either swallow the Earth or scorch it barren (because that’s what our best scientific models currently predict).  No, I don’t think humanity will ever escape Earth and build an inter-galactic empire that will allow it to outlast the Sun.  Maybe I’ll do a post on why at some point.

But back to this post.

See, I have this problem where I entirely fail to notice anything I might achieve, and I quickly discount anything that I do notice.  When I screw up, though…  Well, that’s the end of the world.  Every mistake is like I’ve ripped the Earth’s iron core out and tossed it into deep space.

I find comfort in the near-infinity of the cosmos.  In the insignificance of my life in the eyes of the universe.  Nothing I can possibly do will force the universe to give even one quark of a fuck about me.  Or, for that matter, any other human being.

So, looked at on that scale, my holding a conversation with a stranger (a significant feat for me) is on a par with an empire that lasts a thousand years.  It’s the same way here to the shops is pretty much the same distance as here to Mexico on a cosmic scale.  So what if I don’t build an empire that lasts a thousand years?  I had a conversation with a stranger, and that’s just as good.

And as for my mistakes, well, it may feel like they’ll outlast the universe… but they won’t.  They’re finite.  And once I can accept that, I can start to get someproper perspective on them.  You know, when you say, ‘finite’, you’ve got to then say, ‘how finite?’  And defining something is the first step to controlling something.

My brain isn’t that great at holding complicated, abstract ideas in place.  Not in it’s conscious bit.  It’s taken me over six years of hard work to internalize and understand the solution to my problem with respect to my achievements and mistakes.  All that’s sitting in my non-conscious, where it’s got plenty of space to float around and be abstract.  Those 32 words are a short cut to all those six years of hard work.  A royal road, a .zip file, an invocation to call forth the magic inside me.

Maybe I’ve ruined a beautiful picture.  Maybe it can do a little magic for you.

My Experiences With A Beard

There comes a time in every man’s life when he needs an answer to the question, ‘what would my life be like if I grew a beard?’

2011 was my year to answer that question. In November, I stopped shaving.

My new beard and I got off to a poor start. The car was off the road, so I had a two hour bus journey into work and another two hours back. I developed a horrible cold. And, until the end of December, I didn’t have a set of clippers to keep my growth in check.

The new year saw my growth and I settle into a new, comfortable routine. However, the beginning of May marks the beginning of summer. I know myself well enough to know I won’t tolerate a beard during the hot summer months. It’s still a struggle to live with my long hair during August. So my beard will be a winter visitor, arriving in November (Samhain) and leaving again in May (Beltane).

You know, I was going to caption these 'Before' and 'After', but then I figured you could probably work it out.

So.

The Good

It makes me look smarter and more mature than I actually am.

It’s immensely satisfying to stroke the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin.

When I get bored, I can pull hairs out of it. It’s more fun than it sounds.

The Bad

I spend more time shaving with a beard than I do without. Without, it’s easy: just lather up and run the blade through the foam. With the beard, I need get the clippers, put the grade on them (grade four in my case) and trim my growth; then, I need to take the grade off, cut the ends of my moustache and then shave the bits of my neck that should be bare; then, I need to lather my neck and run the blade through. I spend about twice the time shaving with a beard than without.

You know that thing your hair does when you don’t wash it and it gets greasy and slimy? My beard does that, too. My face is covered in greasy hair.

And it needs trimming regularly, too. Leave it too long, and it gets in my mouth and the ends get ratty. Twice a week is pretty much a minimum for me.

The Ugly

Having a cold and a moustache isn’t much fun. Really, it isn’t.

And my moustache grows out more than down. Seriously, what the fuck?

I’m a sci-fi fan. I’m the kind of sci-fi fan who has a poster of the Enterprise (NX-01, for those wondering). I’m socially awkward. A combination of stimulant-triggered asthma and permanently swollen upper nostrils means I occasionally need to breath through my mouth and my speech isn’t always too clear. I have a long pony tail. And I have a gut on me. With the beard, all I need are the glasses to make me the walking stereotype of everything about sci-fi fans that gives us a bad name. Honestly, put me in an ill-fitting My Little Pony t-shirt and a pair of glasses and you can use me as the poster boy for a ‘keep your kids out of sci-fi’ campaign.

And The Kinda Weird

We have a cat, Crowley. He’s the kind of cat that likes to lick you. And he loves to lick my beard. I’m incredibly tolerant with him. He will quite happily lick my beard for fifteen minutes and even then, there are times I’ll get fed up with it and stop him before he wants to stop. Summer Saturday mornings won’t be the same without Crowley sitting on my chest, licking my facial hair with his cat-food breath while I struggle to wake up.

But... why has the beard gone?!

Conclusions

So long as you’re prepared to put in the extra grooming time, beards are awesome and every man should grow one and live with it for a few months. You’re never going to know otherwise. And for all you women out there, it took me a good few years to convince Allegra to let me go for it. Now, she’s already missing it. It’s like I said, ladies: you’re never going to know if you don’t try.